I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
