I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
