Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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