If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
