so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
