everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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