Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
