Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
only you would photoshop your dick
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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