OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
