The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
