I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have aggressive nipples.
Damn victory sex feels great
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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