I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
