You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
