i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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