Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
