She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
