Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
