i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
