Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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