You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
