she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it glows. i had to have it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
