It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize