hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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