no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
