This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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