I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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