I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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