why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
