what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
