FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
