she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
