i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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