real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize