Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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