great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
