please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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