OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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