at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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