You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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