I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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