You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
porn star boner night. come get it.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
