I wannas sexs uuuuu
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
