uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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