One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
