But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
