yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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