shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
