She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
