My first STD was from a foam party
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I want a musical about memes.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
