We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
