As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
