At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
