that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
