I wish my penis had an off switch
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
