From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
