it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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