Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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