yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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