Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
