I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How's work?
Spinning.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
